We're trying to buy a house.
When I say trying I mean: We're working up the guts to kiss the asses of the people closest and dearest to us in an attempt to get assistance with a Down payment. Then we will continue trying to buy a house.
When I say continue trying I mean: We'll start looking at houses in person rather than pixel images via the web. Then, we burst our Property Virgin hymens and move on with life. I'm excited and petrified to say the least. More on this later.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Terroize me bubba
Lately I've been getting calls at work from this one company called Capital Express. They first started calling and asking questions about one of our copier/printer combo machines all while posing to be the distributor of our toner. At one point they got the name of the individual who orders our office supplies, and since then they have called every day multiple times in a day. The co-worker told them to stop bugging her, I told them to stop bugging her and mentioned that someone else was handling those supplies. So they started calling every day for that person, before realizing that I wasn't going to put them on the phone with that person and instead started asking for Co-worker A again. It really came to a head today when, after the first call I refused to put them through to Co-worker A or B, they called back posing to be someone else from another company and then directly lied to Co-worker A stating Co-worker B told them to ask for her.
I've dealt with aggressive sales people and telemarketers before, but most of them take the hint of "Our CFO is not available, would you like to leave a message?" and hang-up before they actually leave a message. Whereas with these people, they either call right back or ask "Why can't I talk to them?!" and practically refuse to leave a message. At the start of the conversation they identify themselves in a familiar way as though they were best friends with the CFO and long-time customers. It's very disconcerting and unpleasant. Co-worker A theorized that they're part of an office supply scheme she saw once ten years back, where they get enough info about your copiers, employees, business and then send you $1,000 worth of merchandise. They'll have the name of the employee they talked to, the copier serial number and insist that the order is legit. This is just plain bad business practices and probably illegal. It seriously baffles me, if they're not part of the office supply scheme, how harassing employees makes them think they'll get our business.
Normally I act like a Gatekeeper, mess with me and you'll get a merry-go round of voicemail and "dropped" calls. With these people, it doesn't work. If I could get their number I'd have them reported to the Better Business Bureau in a heartbeat. Got any good tactics that doesn't revert to me chewing them out and breaking things?
I've dealt with aggressive sales people and telemarketers before, but most of them take the hint of "Our CFO is not available, would you like to leave a message?" and hang-up before they actually leave a message. Whereas with these people, they either call right back or ask "Why can't I talk to them?!" and practically refuse to leave a message. At the start of the conversation they identify themselves in a familiar way as though they were best friends with the CFO and long-time customers. It's very disconcerting and unpleasant. Co-worker A theorized that they're part of an office supply scheme she saw once ten years back, where they get enough info about your copiers, employees, business and then send you $1,000 worth of merchandise. They'll have the name of the employee they talked to, the copier serial number and insist that the order is legit. This is just plain bad business practices and probably illegal. It seriously baffles me, if they're not part of the office supply scheme, how harassing employees makes them think they'll get our business.
Normally I act like a Gatekeeper, mess with me and you'll get a merry-go round of voicemail and "dropped" calls. With these people, it doesn't work. If I could get their number I'd have them reported to the Better Business Bureau in a heartbeat. Got any good tactics that doesn't revert to me chewing them out and breaking things?
Monday, June 15, 2009
KERPLUNK!
Lately I've lived my life in a technological bubble, where I can sit on my couch, surf the net, text, call, IM and blog from my fancy phone all while rubbing my hubby's feet. I'm eagerly anticipating the day when I can download the app onto my phone that will rub his feet for me. Saturday I had a true Dorky Girl moment of the kind that I'm fairly well known for in my circle, consider this foreshadowing. I'm seriously tempted to just end this post with a bunch of appropriate emoticons like I might have when I was thirteen.
Occasionally I let my kitchen get so dirty that we are out of clean utensiles and bare counter-space thanks to the mountian of dishes filled with rotting materials. Saturday I reached my breaking point and got my cleaning-on yo, a.k.a.: I just needed a clean bowl to make Artichoke dip for my Step-mom's birthday party and didn't want to think of myself as lazy enough to just wash one dish out of twenty-five so I cleaned the majority of them. I'm more half-assed lazy.
After partialy un-earthing my buried garbage disposal my step-mom called and I took the call while still hovering over the sink. Within a few minutes I lost my shoulder to phone grip on my Blackberry thus allowing it to slide into a crock-pot full of very dirty water. We're talking the kind of dirty water that leaves a stench on your hands and a oily residue on your skin. It was within days of producing a mamilian lifeform out of it's primordial ooze, which concidentially once contained the makings of a peanut-butter chocolate pudding cake. Perhaps this should be researched?
Back to the phone, it sank in mid-call. I made a mad dash to haul it out, and remove the battery before it died a painful death by electrolosis. My super sweet and supportive husband's response?
"Well? What do you expect?!"
Flush a phone on the night of your first kiss and you never hear the end of it... sheesh.
Occasionally I let my kitchen get so dirty that we are out of clean utensiles and bare counter-space thanks to the mountian of dishes filled with rotting materials. Saturday I reached my breaking point and got my cleaning-on yo, a.k.a.: I just needed a clean bowl to make Artichoke dip for my Step-mom's birthday party and didn't want to think of myself as lazy enough to just wash one dish out of twenty-five so I cleaned the majority of them. I'm more half-assed lazy.
After partialy un-earthing my buried garbage disposal my step-mom called and I took the call while still hovering over the sink. Within a few minutes I lost my shoulder to phone grip on my Blackberry thus allowing it to slide into a crock-pot full of very dirty water. We're talking the kind of dirty water that leaves a stench on your hands and a oily residue on your skin. It was within days of producing a mamilian lifeform out of it's primordial ooze, which concidentially once contained the makings of a peanut-butter chocolate pudding cake. Perhaps this should be researched?
Back to the phone, it sank in mid-call. I made a mad dash to haul it out, and remove the battery before it died a painful death by electrolosis. My super sweet and supportive husband's response?
"Well? What do you expect?!"
Flush a phone on the night of your first kiss and you never hear the end of it... sheesh.
Friday, June 12, 2009
... and then
At first I thought that scarfing down a sinful lemon cupcake would be enough to fill my never ending hunger, but sadly I later found myself in the drive-through line at a local Taco Bell ordering enough food to feed a family of five. For our family of two. My belly was rumbling, so as soon as I parked the car I demanded sustenance, which my dear husband took his sweet time on. After much complaining in what was probably three seconds, I received my first crunchy warm taco supreme. Greedily I took a bite and swallowed without really chewing.....
......
......... and ended up with a chunk of taco lodged in my throat. Yes, lodged in my throat. I coughed, drank some soda, swallowed a bunch of times to confirm that there was a taco wedge lodged in my throat. I blinked at my husband, who just continued to search through the bag of food looking for his soft taco supreme (wuss) as though there was nothing wrong. Did he not realize that his wife had a taco wedge lodged in her throat? Sure, maybe I could pass it through, maybe. OR in some stroke of weird, CSI like plot twist I might not swallow it through. Instead it'll sever my trachea* and I'll bleed out internally! My story will be the #355 way to die on 1001 Ways to Die, Death by Taco. Or Death by greedy fat cheeks.
I stared at my husband who kept asking "Where's my taco?" and informed him totally coolly that I had a taco wedge lodged in my throat. His response?
"You can talk, if you can do that you're not dieing." there was an internal dumbass comment in there I'm sure "Drink more soda".
I lived to see the next day, and the sore throat as a result of getting something pointy lodged in my throat. Ouch. Dumbass.
*yea I haven't taken biology in years and haven't taken an Anatomy class yet.. so this likely won't happen.
......
......... and ended up with a chunk of taco lodged in my throat. Yes, lodged in my throat. I coughed, drank some soda, swallowed a bunch of times to confirm that there was a taco wedge lodged in my throat. I blinked at my husband, who just continued to search through the bag of food looking for his soft taco supreme (wuss) as though there was nothing wrong. Did he not realize that his wife had a taco wedge lodged in her throat? Sure, maybe I could pass it through, maybe. OR in some stroke of weird, CSI like plot twist I might not swallow it through. Instead it'll sever my trachea* and I'll bleed out internally! My story will be the #355 way to die on 1001 Ways to Die, Death by Taco. Or Death by greedy fat cheeks.
I stared at my husband who kept asking "Where's my taco?" and informed him totally coolly that I had a taco wedge lodged in my throat. His response?
"You can talk, if you can do that you're not dieing." there was an internal dumbass comment in there I'm sure "Drink more soda".
I lived to see the next day, and the sore throat as a result of getting something pointy lodged in my throat. Ouch. Dumbass.
*yea I haven't taken biology in years and haven't taken an Anatomy class yet.. so this likely won't happen.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Sneaky sneaky
In an attempt to battle the inevitable newlywed 15 pounds, and to finally get healthy, I joined a free diet website. Quick side note here: I hate using the term diet, it has so many negative connotations especially as I'm not obese and could probably get away with what I eat if I exercised more. Partially my issues with using the word diet are ones that I've created on my own and directly a result of my own judgemental inner dialogue. Anyway, I joined the website yesterday and it's been nice to get an idea of how many calories I can pack away. I went over the top end of what I can eat by 166 calories.
Apparently though my effort to curtail my caloric intake was so hard for the one full day I did it that I caved... and ate a cupcake. I'm wishing I took a picture but I devoured it too fast. It was lemon upon lemon with lemon curd filling for good measure. My taste buds did a happy dance, and then a jig. I have no will power, and I have the dirty remnants of lemon buttercream sin on my lips to prove it. Yum.
Good thing there is still tomorrow.
Apparently though my effort to curtail my caloric intake was so hard for the one full day I did it that I caved... and ate a cupcake. I'm wishing I took a picture but I devoured it too fast. It was lemon upon lemon with lemon curd filling for good measure. My taste buds did a happy dance, and then a jig. I have no will power, and I have the dirty remnants of lemon buttercream sin on my lips to prove it. Yum.
Good thing there is still tomorrow.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Brain-farts
I know I said, to my one reader, that I would write a post about where I want this blog to go. I don't have that post in me today. Instead I give you this:
Most people have clear memories of really great times in their lives, great friends, or arguments that they won with a cleaverly placed comment. Me? I have clear memories of some of the really stupid things I've said. Not so clear on certain memories of great times as for people I cannot for the life of me remember certain people in school that my friends swear were there the whole time. Any of my stupid comments I can't remember, my dear friends are always eager to remind me of.
Stupid comment #1:
In response to getting caught eating the marshmallow's out of a box of Lucky Charms
"I didn't know any better"
Stupid comment #2:
"I think I don't put pepper on my food because the white flakes in pepper must be salt and I've already put salt on my food. So I don't need to double up." this was after intently staring at the pepper shaker and trying to divine it's inner meanings. Btw: the white flakes are actually white pepper. Or so one of my friends claimed.
Stupid comment #3:
"Your End-Dump" think $100,00 worth of 40 ton metal attached to a big-rig that could kill you if it flipped on you/your truck "flipped? Oh that's not good." Ok this one is actually funny in an "understatment of the year" kind of way. Like when you watch a horror film and a character just got bludgened so you pipe up "that'll leave a mark". Funny.
Most people have clear memories of really great times in their lives, great friends, or arguments that they won with a cleaverly placed comment. Me? I have clear memories of some of the really stupid things I've said. Not so clear on certain memories of great times as for people I cannot for the life of me remember certain people in school that my friends swear were there the whole time. Any of my stupid comments I can't remember, my dear friends are always eager to remind me of.
Stupid comment #1:
In response to getting caught eating the marshmallow's out of a box of Lucky Charms
"I didn't know any better"
Stupid comment #2:
"I think I don't put pepper on my food because the white flakes in pepper must be salt and I've already put salt on my food. So I don't need to double up." this was after intently staring at the pepper shaker and trying to divine it's inner meanings. Btw: the white flakes are actually white pepper. Or so one of my friends claimed.
Stupid comment #3:
"Your End-Dump" think $100,00 worth of 40 ton metal attached to a big-rig that could kill you if it flipped on you/your truck "flipped? Oh that's not good." Ok this one is actually funny in an "understatment of the year" kind of way. Like when you watch a horror film and a character just got bludgened so you pipe up "that'll leave a mark". Funny.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Stop looking
This is a note to myself to stop looking at wedding photography blogs. Not just because I'm obessed, but because it reminds me of how cheated I felt by my wedding photographer. There will be a full review once I look fully through the 3400 unedited photos I got...
Next post: What I want out of this blog.
Next post: What I want out of this blog.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)